Hi there, I am so glad you are here. Since you’re here checking out my stuff-n-all, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say there’s something in your way. Am I right?
No worries, love.
It happens to all of us at some point.
Heck it happens to some of us all the time.
The Real Secret
Would you like to know the only difference between those people who appear to have the self-confidence (or swagger, if that’s how you roll), the man, the relationships, the moxie you’re hankering for?
It’s simple. They went out and made it happen. Period.
Like a 3-step program, they:
- Pinpointed what wasn’t working. Major.
- Got clear about what they really want. So tell me what you want, what you really really want.
- And they created a plan to get what they want. What they really really want.
What do you really really want to know about me?
Proud Seattleite, although I have lived too many places to claim just one.
Wife, business owner, pug-mom, daughter, sister, auntie, cousin, friend – who just happens to be a licensed & formally trained Marriage & Family Therapist turned Life Coach.
–I’m also one of those people.–
- I have a business & a job I love. Seriously, emotional brawn turns me on. (Does that sounds dirty?)
- I plan date-nights with myself for every new episode of Grey’s. McDreamy is so much dreamier with cozy socks, a glass of wine and a snoring pug.
- My marriage hit double digits in 2013. Woot! Woot!
- I have a black pug – Scarlett, who melts my heart with her truck driver snoring.
- I trust myself & feel confident in my own skin. (Dare I say swagger.)
- I’ve got crazy good intuition. I’m a 20 questions champion; often know my friends are preggers before they do and instantly know if my hubby’s finished the peanut butter & put the empty jar back in the fridge (don’t worry I only use this power for good).
But it wasn’t always this way. Not. Even. Close.
Let me tell you, love, I know what it is to struggle.
I’ve topped the charts at work, and still felt not good enough. Like if I took too big a breath, or made one mistake, or let any of the 10,000 balls I had in the air drop, it would all just disappear.
I’ve been clear about what didn’t work for me, and yet had no freakin’ clue what did. I took a job as a professional recruiter after undergrad, thinking I was going to help people. Not only did I not help people, I became the bitterest biznitch I’ve ever met. It got so bad that one day my now hubby (then BF) said, “I don’t recognize you anymore. You’re not the compassionate loving hopeful person I fell in love with.” Ouch!
I’ve heard that small voice within me saying, “I know I should want this, everyone else seems to want it for me, and yet this so isn’t what I want.” Get married, buy a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, have 2.5 babies, drive a mini-van, and be happy about it. Right? For me this just didn’t fit.
I’ve desperately clung to and thrown myself into relationships hoping to prove (and find) my self-worth in telling people that someone loves me. “See world, see! Proof that I am lovable!” This one was a doozy. This one almost cost me my marriage and my mind. The double-digit marriage is actually quite a win considering at month 17, I found myself in a paralegal’s office filing for divorce. To be fair, months 1-16 were spent reminding my husband that he promised to put me first; pointing out all the ways he was sucking at it, and stressed that people would find out we weren’t a “perfect couple.” (Translation: I wasn’t lovable after all.)
I want you to be one of those people.
More than being one of those people, I want you to feel like one of those people.
To be able to say (with swagger if it suits you), “I got this.” No matter what comes your way: job stress, money stress, relationship stress, mid-life crisis, gray hairs, new bosses, great loves and losses – “I got this.”
What I want, what I really really want for you is to have the swagger, the man, the relationships, the moxie you are so hungry for.
One last thing, love, and it is oh-so important.
We tend to learn the most from the pain in our lives.
It may be sadness that has brought you here, to my page, just now. That’s OK.
And that doesn’t mean your journey has to be sad.
Clarity feels like an emotional orgasm. The more clear you get about what is in your way, what you want (what you really really want) and how to get there, the more Hopeful & Empowered you’ll feel.
P.S. Yes my girlfriends & I did dress up as the Spice Girls for Halloween in college.
No I do not have any pictures of it.