Are Your Wants Keeping You Stuck?

My wants and I have been going through a major growing phase lately.  Major.

 

I used to do this thing where I put all my wants into the same category.  Maybe you can relate?

 

If I thought it, I called it a want.

Didn’t matter if it was to marry Johnny Depp, attend grad school, swim in the Olympics or have a pet dog.  


A want was a want—as far as I was concerned.

 

Now, thanks to my Law of Attraction tutelage, I see- so clearly- that not all wants are the same.   AND lumping ‘em all together…. well that’s what keeps us stuck.

 

See wants really fall into two categories: wishes + desires.

 

Wishes are light, airy, dream-like.

They sound good. (Often too good to be true.)

They feel attractive and totally unattainable. Which creates their draw.

They’re external.   Just outside your reach.

And while it’d be nice if they happened, the dream of them happening is way better than the reality.

 

Desires, on the other hand, are a yearning that comes from within you.

They’re solid, driven, viable.

There’s action, fire + passion when you think ‘em.

They feel possible.  Attainable.

And achieving them feels better than dreaming of them.

 

Wishes sound good- and we have zero intention of putting energy into them.  (Hello Johnny Depp)

While desires we can’t help but energy into.  (Hello grad school)

 

When we mix these guys up, when we call our wishes desires, we send ourselves BIG TIME mixed messages.  

Which leads to all kinds of dropped balls.  
Herky jerky planning. 
And oodles of self-judgment.

But, when we know the difference between a wish and a desire we can align ourselves with our true desires (hello grad school) and let our wishes be exactly what they are- awesome daydream material (hello Johnny Depp).

Knowing the difference between these two will save you time, energy, face with yourself AND keep you moving forward.   Even if it’s to fantasy-land for just a few hours. (Hey, everyone needs an occasional break!)

Here’s 4 simple questions to help you figure out if you’re dealing with a wish or a desire:

1.  Am I willing to put energy into creating this?

2.  How much energy?

3.  Am I willing to be challenged, to step outside my comfort zone, to achieve this?

4.  What am I going to do when it gets hard?

**Please, don’t judge your wants that turn out to be wishes.  Celebrate ‘em!  Not only are they great daydream material; they also mean you’ve got way more room on your plate to go after what you truly desire.  
It’s a win-win in my book! :)

 

How Letting Go Can Keep You Moving Forward

This week’s post is actually the newsletter I sent out this week.  


I decided to post an oldie but goodie blog post this week so that I could keep working on some new + exciting things.    As I wrote this newsletter (in under 5 minutes) I realized it’d make a great post.  


SO, I’m sharing it with you here.  I mean, why not?  Right?  :)


It’s amazing what flows out of us when we’re willing to listen, get out of our own way + stop limiting ourselves to one definition of success.   Hope you enjoy!

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“This week, I’m leading by example. 

I’m letting go so that I can keep moving forward.

See I’m up to my eyeballs in new posts + my new website.  Things are looking g-oo-d AND they’re not quite ready to share.  At this point, I’m pretty sure they only make sense in my head.  :) 

So I had a choice. 

I could spent today stressed out desperately trying to force one of these new born posts into something that makes sense to everyone NOT living in my head.  (Believe me, I’ve done it before.  And, will probably do it again.)

OR, I could re-post an oldie but goodie and give myself room to breath and keep working- with love- on the new stuff that’s pouring out of me.

I choose option 2.

Which is so on point for the post I’ve selected.  And, for the art of letting go. 

WAY too often we get stuck on one picture, definition, expectation of the way things need to go.   Talk about lack + limitations!

Being willing + able to see opportunities, possibilities… abundance is so part of letting go.  And, it makes success so. much. more. attainable.

The trick to making sure that you’re letting go so you can move forward (vs. putting it in park) is this simple question:

Does letting this go move me closer or farther to my ultimate goal?

If it moves you closer- like this week is doing for me, allowing me space to keep creating- then 100% look for options, possibilities, think outside the box and let. it. go. already.

If it moves you farther- is an excuse, keeps you stuck, means you won’t take the next step towards your ultimate goal- then it’s time to buckle down, put on your come-hell-or-high-water-pants and find a way to get it done. 

You don’t always have to have the perfect plan or execution.  You’ve just got to be clear about your wants + extra clear if you’re moving towards ‘em or stalling out.

To mastering the art of letting go!

xoxo
Caley

P.S. Turns out I’m totally digging this newsletter so THIS is going to turn into this week’s new post!  Planned on posting once, ended up posting twice- with very little effort- just by listening to… ME. 

Man, I love this letting go thing.  :)”

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If you liked this post come on over and sign up.   We’d love to have you!    And, I’m pretty sure it’s where the most fun happens.

The Dos + Don’ts of Letting Go

Today I’m re-posting an oldie but goodie.

It’s one of my most popular posts.  And, the topic of letting go is always relevant.  Always.  :)

7 essential dos + don’ts for letting go. 


1.  DON’T ignore what you really need. 

Letting go isn’t a catchall phrase and it doesn’t heal all hurts.
  
Letting go happens once we’ve processed + healed the hurt.  

Not before.

If you’re in the middle of a major anxiety melt-down, drowning in heartache, or desperate for things change, odds are letting go isn’t what you need (or want) right now.

DO clarify what you really want.  

Support, understanding, nurture and healing all have to happen before we can let go.   And, they’re what we need most when we’re in pain.  

Take time to ask yourself what you really want right now.  If it’s got to do with pain, I promise a little TLC will go a long way.  



2.  Don’t Nike yourself.  

By this I mean, you can’t “just do it.”  

Not when it comes to letting go. 

And, the more you badger yourself to “just do it” the more stuck you’ll become.  

Letting go is a process + it can only happen when we’re open.   When you’re screaming, “JUST DO IT ALREADY” at yourself, you’re body’s in total lock down mode.  Nothing is getting in OR out.

DO embrace some woo-woo.  

Letting go involves all of you, not just your beautiful mind.  

I mean it’s not your mind that hurts; it’s your body, right?  

Meditation, energy work, yoga, breath, reiki and prayer are essentials to letting go ’cause they get you outta your head and into your body, where the hurt is.  



3.  Don’t do what you’ve always done.

Whatever you’ve been doing hasn’t worked.  So why keep doing it?  

DO try new things!  

Think outside the box.  Get out of your comfort zone.  The only way to feel something new is to DO something new.



4.  Don’t do things ’cause someone told you to.  

I call this “good-student” answers + actions.  When my clients do something ’cause I told ‘em to –  with zero heart, connection or intention of their own – well, it never ever works.  

DO what speaks to you.  

The truth is there’s many ways to let go.  And what works for me may not work for you.  

When you’re open and willing to learn + feel the process on your own, letting go happens naturally.  It’s not the steps that allow you to let go, it’s letting something you need in that makes the difference.  So listen to yourself + ask, what do you really need to let this go?


5.  Don’t look for all the ways it didn’t work. 

I call this “hole-poking” and it’s the single worst thing you can do to yourself.  If you spend your time, energy and attention looking for what’s wrong then that’s what you’re gonna have– a life that feels wrong.

Do look for all the ways growth is showing up.  

Teach yourself to look for + celebrate the places that you have made progress, that are going well and how far you’ve come.  The more joy, compassion + hope you look for- the more you’ll have a life that feels that way. 



6.  Don’t fantasize about “them” fixing it.  

Yes, someone may have hurt you.   BUT, and I say this with love, the wound is yours.   

Let me explain: if they literally physically stabbed you with a knife, they (literally) hurt you AND the cut would be yours to take care of.  Even if they apologize!   

You’ve got to clean, dress and care for the wound ’cause it’s on your body.  Well, same rules apply to emotional wounds.

DO focus on you.

Take your power back here and focus on you + what you can do.  Your options for taking care of yourself are endless when you focus on what YOU CAN DO.  

If you’re stuck running the loop of having it out with them in your head, it’s a sure sign you need to go back to step one and figure out what you really want.  This means something is still missing.



7.  DON’T do it alone.

It’s painful.  It’s lonely.  It’s totally unnecessary to do it alone.  And, it will take so much longer.

DO embrace support

Support comes in all different shapes and sizes.  And it’s yours for the taking.  You’ll feel so much stronger.  So much clearer.  And it will go so much quicker if you buddy up with someone.

Keep these do + don’ts in mind no matter what steps you take, and you’ll be on your way to letting it go in no time!

Why the Law of Attraction Isn’t Working For You

We’ve all heard the saying, “What you put out is what you get back.”


And it sounds so simple, no?

This over-simplified statement is exactly the Law of Attraction (LOA) gets a bad rap.  And, why it can feel like it’s not working for you.

 

See there’s a “catch” to the LOA that most people don’t know: it doesn’t just listen to our words.   It listens to- and mirrors back- our FEELINGS, too.

 

It’s a mind-body sorta thing. That you can’t fool, deceive, get around or dupe.  Kinda like a lie detector.   The LOA always lets you know where you really stand on a subject.

Here’s 3 ways we butcher the LOA that make it feel like it isn’t working:

 

1.  Change your words. Only.

 

When it comes to LOA words help us to get in touch with our feelings/beliefs. Paying attention to what naturally comes out of our mouths is an easy way to figure out what we actually believe- deep down in our bodies.

So when it comes to making the LOA work in your favor, it doesn’t matter so much WHAT we say, as it does if we believe what we’re saying.   If we’re physically in alignment with the words that are coming out of our mouth.  Or not.

Changing your words alone won’t help you if you’re body is screaming “Hell NO!”

You gotta get your body on board with what you’re saying, or wanting, or wanting to believe. Otherwise you’re just attracting “Hell NO!”

 

2.  Affirmations can make it worse. (Seriously.)

 

So if you’re using affirmations that bring up “Hell NO!” in you then you can actually make things worse. ‘Cause you’re reinforcing “Hell NO!”

 

It’s important to find affirmations that work FOR YOU.
That meet you were you are.  
And move you up the emotional scale at a pace your body can keep up with.

 

For example: if you’ve spent your life telling yourself, “I suck,” then switch one day out of the blue to, “I’m awesome” you’re body is going to have a really hard time keeping up with this huge jump.  

And trigger all kinds of, “oh no you aren’t” feelings in your body.

 

BUT if you try going from “I suck” to “I’m pretty good at __(name one thing)____.”  WAY less triggering.

Your body gets used to the positive association. And you can keep adding other things you’re good at as you climb up the scale to “I’m awesome!”

 

3.  Lack of Faith.

 

So in this one, we’re saying the “right” things. (Good!)
They’re not triggering us. (Great!)

But we’re thinking, “This’ll never work for me.”

 

We’re full on engaging our what-can-go-wrong muscle and totally ignoring our what-can-go-right-muscle. In other words we are sure things can go wrong. We doubt that things can go right.

 

With this attitude my friends, you’re gonna feel majorly S T U C K.  Big time.

 

Stuck + totally frustrated ‘cause you believe you’re doing “everything right.”  And yet, once again, you’re body + your words are in total MISalignment. So you’ll just create more misalignment.

 

I’m not gonna lie, becoming besties with the LOA and really feeling like you can create anything you want- like the Universe totally has your back- it takes some work.   How much depends on how committed you are to your old beliefs.

How Long-Term Goals Can Keep You Stuck (just ask the Seahawks)

CaleyPowerPointTemplateWe’ve all been there.  Mind racing.  Heart pounding.  Second, third…. tenth guessing ourselves.

 

We truly believe we’re doing everything we can to reach that seemingly illusive goal.  Yet we’re totally in the dark when it comes to what needs to happen next.

 

Yeah.   I call this over-thinking.  And the Seahawks super bowl loss is the perfect example of this.

 

In those last 20 seconds they were so focused on “the prize” (winning) they lost sight of what needed to happen.  Right.  Now.  They literally took their eye off the ball.

 

To be successful with long-term goals you’ve gotta know two things:

 

  1. Where you are right now.
  2. What (baby) step needs to happen next.

 

No matter how close or far you are to the finish line.

 

I know.   It sounds kinda crazy.  Backwards almost.

 

But the truth, is all the middle stuff- all the baby steps- can feel kinda mundane.
They trigger resistance.
They get boring.  
Tedious.  
They’re without glory.

AND they’re how you reach your goals.  Whatever your goals may be.

 

Here’s 4 signs the finish line is distracting you from playing your best game:

 

  1. You don’t know where you are right now. Or, how you got there.

 

If you’re unaware of what you’re doing right now, there’s no way to figure out what alterations need to happen to reach your goal. Knowing your starting point gives you a much clearer plan of attack.

 

  1. You feel blindsided. Often.

 

Basically, you’ve been so focused on the horizon (long-term goal) that what’s right in front of you is a huge blind spot.   You don’t even see “it” coming.

Like the Seahawks. You’re thinking 20 seconds down the road, while your opponent is looking for opportunities right now.

  1. You miss opportunities.   Often.

 

Again,  you’re focus is so far from now.  So far in the future. Down the road. Out there.   That you don’t see what’s right in front of you. Right now.

You’re trying to run the clock out, so the other team can’t score, and totally miss the chance for you to score. Right now.

 

  1. You keep asking, “Yeah, but, how do I get there?”

 

This is a dead giveaway that you don’t want to see what’s going on right now. You’re feeling the tediousness of the baby steps and trying to skip to the end.

 

What you’re really asking for is that magic pill that gets you across the finish line with none of the blood, sweat or tears.   Which is a perfectly acceptable goal.  AND, you’ll be way more successful finding it if you clearly state that as your goal.  :)


“At 26 years old I won’t allow 1 play or 1 moment to define my career. 
I will keep evolving. 
#Motivation”
                          -Russell Wilson


Major Respect, Russ!   And, awesome learning moment for all of us.  12’s or not. 

6 Signs Your Soul is Craving Solitude

CaleyPowerPointTemplateHave you ever noticed that something magical seems to happen every year about this time?  

We head into hibernation mode.   Big time.

It’s like our souls- as a collective- are craving solitude. 

And they’re not shy about demanding asking for it.

I know it’s happening to me.  

And, it seems to be happening to everyone I know.

My personal theory is that this is our soul’s way of introducing us- or reconnecting us- to our soul goals.  

You know, our purpose.  

Solitude is how our spirit connects the resolutions we set a few weeks ago to our purpose.  

If we let it, solitude shows us our blocks + our hurdles. 
It’ll show us what we need to say goodbye to.  
And, what we need to say hello to. 
It’s the beginning of taking the training wheels off our dreams.
And starting to imagine exactly what “this or something better” means.

 

I find this period of solitude to be deeply healing.  

When I lean into it.   When I embrace it.   When stop fighting and just allow it.

 

The problem is most of us fight- like crazy- this sacred call.   We avoid it.   Judge it. We shame it and ourselves for even having such a craving.  And we worry that turning into it means we’ll always feel this way.

 

I have yet to find a way out of this space without leaning into it.

 

Both personally.   And for my clients.  

 

It’s like the Devil’s Snare in Harry Potter.   The more you resist and fight it the more it’ll constrict around you. Relaxing + allowing yourself to be in this space is the way through it.   Leaning into it is the way out.

 

Same with solitudes calling.   Leaning into it is the way out.

Here’s 6 signs your soul is demanding totally craving solitude.

1.  You’re irritable.    At everyone.   Not mad really.   Just irritated- constantly.

 

2.  You’re tired.   No matter how much you sleep.   No matter how much downtime you have.   You just can’t seem to get it up.

 

3.  You’re zoning out.    A lot.   Especially during usually enjoyable downtime activities like watching TV or reading.

 

4.  You’re anti-social.   Nothing sounds better than a long weekend barricaded cuddled up at home.

 

5.  You’re lethargic.   About everything.

 

6.  You’re worried about how you’re feeling AND have no desire to change it.

 

Don’t change it…. Lean into it.


Use this sacred time to connect with you.

 

Journal.  Daydream.  Meditate, or learn to meditate.  Pray.  Seek spiritual support from others.  Visualize growing.  Talk to yourself- A LOT.  Stretch- physically, emotionally + spiritually.   Listen.

 

Like in nature, this solitude is a beautiful season.   A season of your soul speaking directly to you. 

All you have to do is….. allow it.

Is Your Confidence Keeping You Stuck?

Lately, I’m obsessed with this quote from Marianne Williamson:

“With every attitude we demonstrate faith- either faith in what can go wrong or faith in what can go right. Our problem is that we tend to have tremendous faith in the power of our disasters and far too little faith in the power of miracles.”

 

Um, hello Marianne.   Spot on much?

 

Personally, I’ve totally fallen victim to this mentality in the past.   Still do, sometimes.

I’m safe, housed, fed, clothed, loved, passionate, employed and yet it’s way easier to be confident that the other shoe WILL drop than it is to feel confident that things will go my way.

 

What gives?  


What makes us ignore all the parts of our life that are going swimmingly and focus on those stubborn parts that are still a work in progress?

 

The short answer: our brains.

 

It’s the survival-focused part of our brains that is always on the look out for physical danger so we can- you know- stay alive.  

 

Yeah.

Pretty important, beautiful, loving and totally necessary brain functioning.  

AND, it can totally screw us when it comes to living a secure, calm, peaceful and abundant life.

 

Here’s the thing friend: just ‘cause your brain has got the whole look-for-danger thing down to a science doesn’t mean it has to be the only stance, viewpoint or input you accept.  

 

There are 1000’s of ways each day that things go right for us.   Even on the crappy days there are still SO MANY things that go right.


It’s our job to strengthen + deepen our faith in what can go right and develop our trust muscle.


Here’s 3 easy steps for strengthening your trust in what can go right.

 

  1. Thank your brain.

 

See our brains don’t actually care about our happiness.   That’s not what they’re about. 

Our brains are designed (amazingly well) to keep our physical body alive ‘n’ kickin’.  

 

Every time we shush ‘em they get worried we didn’t get the message and might be in danger so they replay the message, even louder.  It can become a never ending battle if you let it.  

 

Instead of shushing, judging, shaming or blaming your beautiful brain start thanking it.

Acknowledge it.  

Let it know you got the message.  

This way you can finally start working together + paying attention to what can (and totally does) go right.

 

  1. Thank the universe.

 

There’s no better way to show yourself how many things go right each day than to start tracking ‘em.  

A super simple way to do this is to challenge yourself to find a minimum of 100 things PER DAY to thank the Universe for.

 

Anything from:

  • hot water
  • cold water
  • indoor plumbing
  • your breaks or blinkers working in your car
  • the lock on your door working
  • the chair that is literally supporting your ass right now.
The list could go on and on and on……  

 

Spend some time each day pointing out to your inner safety officer all the things totally going right.

 

  1. Create a motto.

 

Inevitably there will be times with your faith + trust are tested.   During these times a motto- some simple reminder that all is well- is so incredibly helpful for keeping in faith.

 

My personal favorite came from a sermon by Joel Osteen, I call it “even now faith.”  (Might even be the title of the sermon.)   Basically, it’s an even now, in this scary, uncertain, I can’t predict the future place I know all is working out for my highest good.   I might not see the reason or plan but I trust that the Universe does.

Talk about working that ol’ trust muscle out.   You’ll be feeling the burn, and the hope, in no time.  :)

It’s Not You: 2 Signs You’re Hitting A Glass Ceiling

You’ve heard the term “glass ceiling” but what exactly is it?

 

In short: it’s a blind spot.

 

It’s something that feels so normal to you that you don’t even realize that there’s another way.

 

It keeps you stuck. 

On repeat.

Doing the same old thing, over and over, hoping that this time you get a different result. This time things will change.

 

The more we fear NOT being in control, the more these internal limits rule us.  


Like those invisible dog fences.   Our glass ceilings give us the illusion of safety as long as we stay in our own yards.

 

And yet, in order to change your life, increase your joy, get in the flow of abundance and accept prosperity into our lives we’ve got to take the limits off ourselves.   We’ve got to be willing to venture out past our own yards + be open to what comes our way.

 

Tricky. Tricky. Tricky. No?

 

The first step in taking the limits off yourself is starting to understand + recognize your limits.  All of ‘em.

 

Now I know it can sound tempting to just blow past these bad boys and never look back. But here’s the thing, you can’t truly leave ‘em behind without knowing what they look like.   When you skip this step they just pop up in a different outfit and you unknowingly welcome right back in.


Identification is key.   Which means starting to learn what they feel like.

So let’s dig into the two most common signs that you’re hitting a glass ceiling + break down exactly what they feel like.
(And what they’re actually about.)

 

  1. When what you want isn’t happening.

 

To me, this one feels like literally running into a wall.  

 

I’ve got the energy, the plan, am taking action and then…. thud.   It just sorta…. stops.

Like I’ve run into an invisible wall and literally can’t go any farther.

 

What’s happening here is that we’ve got one idea, one belief, one plan of attack and all our eggs are in this basket.  

 

We say things like,

 

“I’ve just got to____”

“They just need to”

“That’s not it, I’ve already worked on that.”

“I don’t know how.”

“I don’t know what I want.”

“I’m stuck.”

 

Basically, we are eyeball deep into must-look-a-certain-way-land without even knowing it.


In other words: we’re desperately seeking control vs. our goal and totally unaware of it.

 

 

  1. I feel nervous it might actually happen.

 

To me, this one feels like butterflies.  Big time.

 

When I picture getting what I want I feel so squirmy, so unsettled, so uncomfortable that I end up sabotaging any chance of getting it.  

 

What’s happening here is that the fear of leaving our comfort zone is so fierce that we find ways + reasons to stay exactly where we are.

 

We say things like,

 

“That’s hard.”

“I’ll never be able to do that.”

“I hate change.”

“Yeah but HOW do I do that?”

“ Other people don’t do that.”

 

Much like a look-at-that-shiny-object distraction we keep the focus on why we can’t have it, it won’t work, or what’s missing so that we never actually have to take any steps towards having it.   We talk a big game.   With no actual follow through.

 

Here’s the thing, my friends: neither of these glass ceilings is right or wrong, good or bad, better or worse, about you not being good enough, or impassable.  

 

When you’re willing to start looking at where you actually are.

Right. Now.

And, own what’s actually going on your life starts changing.  Instantly.  

Why Resolutions Don’t Stick: The Step You’re Missing

CaleyPowerPointTemplateDoes this sound familiar?

A new year rolls around and you.  are.  ready.

You’re ready to make THIS the year that you keep your resolution(s).

 

You’ve got a plan.   You’ve told your friends.   Dished out the money.  Signed up for the class.   Bought the gear.   Whatever’s needed to make 2015 your bitch.  

 

Then, quicker than you’d like + sooner than you feared, 2015 starts to feel like every other year….

 

Here’s the thing my friends.   All this planning + being ready good stuff.   Really good stuff.   And, planning alone won’t get ya to your goals.

 

See, you’re forgetting one key step in changing your life:  saying goodbye to the old you.

 

Diving into a new year, new resolution, new goal, new pattern or habit without saying goodbye to the old you is kinda like diving into a new relationship without breaking up with your previous one.

 

It’s messy. 

Confusing. 

And there’s this sorta half-assed really unfocused energy weighing you down. 

So you can’t fully commit or get totally behind your new plan. 

 

You want it.  The new plan.   AND the pull to stay in your comfort zone is crazy intense.

 

It’s impossible to stay the non-worker-outer, non-promotion, non-savings, lots-o’-debt you AND become the in-shape, I-got-a-fat-promotion, have-lots-o’-savings, all-my-debt-is-paid-in-full you.

 

You gotta let go of the old you in order to make room for the new you. 

 

The truth is: whoever you were- outta shape, under paid, in debt to your eyeballs- you were this ‘cause it served you.  

 

In some way shape or form it kept you comfortable.  Happy enough.  Safe enough.   Secure enough.  And feeling in control.

 

If it didn’t you wouldn’t have made it your comfort zone.  Period.

 

So now that you want more for yourself (which is so awesome, BTW),  more than just enough, you’ve gotta acknowledge all the ways this old-self + old comfort zone served you.

 

Thank ‘em.

 

And say goodbye to ‘em.   Literally.

 

“Goodbye sleep-in instead of work out me.”

“Goodbye keep spending money with no plan me.”  

“Goodbye lower pay grade than I’m worth me.”


It’s your way of declaring to yourself + the universe you’re ready for more.  You’re willing to leave your comfort zone behind.  And cleansing your body + energy of the old you.  

Whenever you feel resistance, consider stopping, or think you can’t do it, just come back to these goodbyes.  As often as needed.  Every hour if that’s what it takes. 

 

“Goodbye old me. You’ve been my constant. You’ve been my comfort. And for that I thank you.”

 

3 Must-Have Components to Setting Resolutions You Can Totally Meet

It’s my favorite time of year: resolution time!

 

Time to start fresh.  Dream of who we want to become.   And, set some goals to get us there.

 

We tend to start off strong + determined.   Then, somewhere around the 3rd week of Jan our enthusiasm wears off and we find ourselves…. well…. NOT reaching our goals.   Again.

 

Which brings up the ol’ belief + fear that there’s something wrong with us.   We’re weak. Worthless. Not good enough.   A failure.   You get the picture.

 

 

The totally liberating truth, my friends, is that there’s nothing wrong with you.   (Promise.)


You just need to learn HOW to set goals.

 

It’s not as simple as saying, “I want to loose weight.

There’s more to it.  Way more.

The more you understand + up your goal setting process, the more success you’ll have reaching those babies.

 

Here’s 3 must-have components to setting resolutions you can totally meet:

 

  1. Know how you want to feel vs. what you want to get.

 

Let’s just say your resolution is to drop 20 lbs.   Awesome.   Ask yourself these follow up questions:

 

Why do I want this?   How do I want to feel?

 

Most likely your answers will be some sort of desire to feel “better.”  Stronger.  Healthier.  More confident.

 

Dropping 20 lbs, while a great goal, is only part of feeling better, stronger, healthier and more confident.  

 

There’s way more that goes into what you really want- to feel better.  

 

When we’re aware of + in alignment with what we really want to feel we can start feeling that way…. NOW.

 

On the road to reaching our end goal.

 

Every choice, option, decision or plan simply becomes a question of will that make me closer or farther from how I want to ultimately feel.

 

  1. “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.” AKA  There’s more than one way to reach your resolutions.

 

When you give yourself just one way to achieve what you really want- like the weight loss resolution- you paint yourself into a corner.  

 

You saying there’s one path, one option, one chance for success.  “I must loose 20 lbs or continue to hate myself + feel like crap!”

 

Yeah.  So not how success works.  And so not motivating.

 

The truth is there are heaps of ways to feel better.   Now.

And leaving out all the options but one- like diet + exercise- doesn’t make us feel better.   It makes us feel so much worse.

Welcoming all our options supports us + makes it so much harder not to reach our goal.


  1. Time is your bestie. Use it to help you!

 

Usually when we set a goal we “to infinity and beyond” ourselves.  

We say something like, “I’m going to start working out 5 days/week. From now on.”   AKA Forever.

 

Yeah.  Our brains don’t comprehend forever.

 

And, when we leave the door that wide open it’s easy to say, “Well, missing this one day isn’t that big of a deal.”  Yeah…. We all know how that one turns out….

 

Setting specific, shorter, manageable, achievable time periods that you can totally get your come-hell-or-high-water- I-WILL-do-this attitude on is major.

 

It’s the key to keeping you focused + moving.

 

So, if you didn’t work out at all last year, ask yourself how long can you come-hell-or-high-water commit to working out for this year?

 

Then, when that period of time is up you re-evaluate, re-calculate and re-commit to another specific period of time.

 

Friends, it really isn’t you, your will power, your worth, or your character that determines if you reach your resolutions.   It’s all in how you go about tackling these slippery little suckers.  

You can do this.  I know you can!  :)