Are You Repelling What You Want Most?

CaleyPowerPointTemplateI have a new motto I’m in love with:  be the water.

This little gem is changing…. everything

See, water takes the path of least resistance.  Always.   

It doesn’t pick a fight with boulders or trees that pop up in its path.   It doesn’t try to change or move the boulder.  

It simply + effortlessly curves its path around the boulder.   

Even when the boulder is so big it can’t see the other side.   Water just keeps bobbing, weaving and bending as needed.  

Not getting angry about it.   Not blaming.   Not trying to win.  

Just following the path in front of it.


Without a doubt my biggest, most difficult and life changing lesson has been learning to allow.  


You know, BE the water. 


Not controlling, not overdoing or over functioning, not tensing up and not resisting.  


(I’ve got LOTS to say about learning to allow.   It involves trust + faith.   It’s how we achieve our goals + manifest our desires.  It’s how we get in the flow of life.   Live joyfully and effortlessly.  It’s a super important principle of the Law of Creativity (better known as the Law of Attraction).  And a valuable skill to master.   There will be future posts on all these things.  I promise!) 


For today I want to talk about how NOT being the water actually repels what you want most.


See, the more I practice being the water, the more I’m aware when I’m NOT the water. 

It usually involves some combo of these words:


  • But
  • can’t
  • don’t
  • that’s not OK
  • I can’t
  • that’s bad
  • that’s wrong
  • that’s crazy
  • I don’t agree
  • you’re wrong

All of these little babies are about resisting what’s happening.   

Resisting what’s coming your way.   Or trying to move the boulder other person.

When we use ‘em, we’re planted. 

In fightin’ stance.  

And nothing’s getting past us.   Nothing.  


Which is the whole point! 


When we resist we blow right past the things we actually want. 

We can’t help it.  Our energy is set to resist, avoid, deflect, reject and so we do this to the things we want most.


For example:

We give a nice Xmas present to someone we care about and we can’t allow in the genuine “Thank you.”  

Or

We’re just about to reach a massive goal and suddenly we switch paths + start all over again.  

Or

We give ourselves whiplash toggling back and forth between action and procrastination.


In a nutshell:  we are achieving our goal.  Nothing IS getting past us.   Not even the things we want.  


Being the water, learning to allow, is the path to having the life you’re dreaming of.   


We’ve got to be willing to allow the thank you’s, success and creative juices into our hearts + our lives.    And stop repelling ‘em.



 

How to Reach Your “Next Level” Goals

It’s New Year’s Resolution time again!  Do you have yours picked out?  

The thing I love about resolutions is they tend to be “next level” focused.   You know, go from good to great.   Average to outstanding.   From couch to 5K.

All awesome goals.  All gorgeous wants.  All things I so want for you! 



AND it takes something different to reach these “next level” goals. 

See, for most of us, we don’t change things in our lives until the pain gets unbearable.

Then, when the pain is bearable, or we feel a little hopeful, we STOP doing whatever it was that got us to this comfort zone.   Which inevitably leads us to a new stuckness + pain.    And the cycle continues….



To get out of this yo-yo pattern and to the next level requires deeply personal practices + rituals.  

Practices to keep you moving forward.   Going after your dreams.   Setting new goals.

And rituals to keep you grounded.   Peaceful.   Faith-filled.  And, kicking resistance in the butt. 

Without either of these we end up toggling back and forth between pain + hopeful, never actually reaching that next level.  

We see it.  

It’s so close.  

We can almost reach out and touch it then… poof! the wheels come off and we’re back to square one.

Can you say frustrating?!

Well, practices + rituals totally help you end this cycle and actually reach the next level when you know how to use ‘em.  



Here’s 4 essentials to creating practices + rituals that’ll get you to the next level:

1.  Make ‘em deeply personal.

In other words, customize ‘em.  Like crazy!    

Copying someone else’s practices doesn’t get us to the next level.  Being a mini-me does not get us to the next level.  Mindlessly + heartlessly doing what your told doesn’t get you to the next level. 

All the next level really is is a better version of you.   So there’s no way to get there without… you

This requires listening.   Listening to yourself.    Your inner child.   Your intuition.   And, asking yourself lots of questions. 

When you hear an idea you like, or something that might work for you, ask yourself how can I make this even better?  
What would make this special for me?  
Is this something I’d LIKE to do?


2.  Make ‘em flexible. 

Give yourself room to groove on these.  

What feels good on a rainy day might be totally different on a sunny day.   What felt good for 3 months might need a little sprucing up now. 

That’s totally and completely Okay.   In fact, that’s key!  

Practices + rituals aren’t ironclad contracts.  They’re fluid ideas about how to keep your wheels from coming off.  

They can + will grow and change as you grow and change.


3.  Make ‘em things you are 100% committed to.   Come hell or high water. 

If you can’t get on board with ‘em 100%, meaning follow though no matter what, then they’re not the right fit for you.  

Keep searching for what does fit and what you can commit 100% to.   Or, see the next essential. 


4.  Make ‘em about clearing your blocks. 

If you’re running into difficultly committing to,  wellanything than you’ve got some blocks you need to clear before you can pass go.  

Make your rituals + practices about recognizing and clearing your blocks, limitations and blind spots.  

Look, we’ve all got internal glass ceilings that keep our next level goals just slightly out of reach.  

Clearing those blocks is HOW we reach the next level.    And usually, it’s the shortest path.

Why I Love the Law of Attraction

CaleyPowerPointTemplateI’ve spent the past couple years digging into the Law of Attraction.  And I gotta say, the more I learn, the more I’m hooked!  

And, the more my life is changing.

You may or may not know this about me, but I’m actually a marriage + family therapist and self proclaimed brain nerd.   

When I started out as a therapist I wanted (+ believed I had to) prove that what I did had value.   So I started learning everything I could about the brain.

I learned some amazing wonderful helpful insightful stuff over the years.   All in science speak.  

Which I hoped (fingers crossed) would give me street cred.  

Turns out, my clients could care less which neurotransmitter was responsible for the emotional feeling they were experiencing.   They just wanted to know what to do about it.    
 

Enter coaching + the Law of Attraction. 


Admittedly, I started down the Law of Attraction (LOA) path to get away from something.  

I was looking for new energy, new ideas and new life for my business + my calling. 

The more I ran FROM my therapy background the more clear it became that this whole Law of Attraction thing IS part of my calling.   (Totally the LOA in action!)

Even cooler: the principles of the LOA are the exact same things all the science books say.   Just in different- relatable- language. 

So, now….  I’m in.   Totally.   

And today I’m sharing this new found love with you.  

My hope is that it helps you stop running from what exhausts you and helps you start moving towards what you DO want.  Even if the LOA isn’t part of your calling.

4 reasons I love the Law of Attraction:

1.  There’s more than meets the eye. 

The Law of Attraction is actually just one principle in what’s called the Law of Creating.   Cliff notes version: there are universal laws for creating…. anything.   Everything.  Including your life.

This single principle, that what you put out comes back to you, is just the tippy top of the iceberg.   So cool! 

2.  Accountability + Compassion = Empowerment

Now, this seems to be the fork in the road when it comes to the LOA.   Either we get on board with the idea that we are responsible for what we are creating in our lives- even the tough stuff- OR we write the Law of Attraction off as total BS.

So here’s the thing about this: for your life to change, YOU have to change.  LOA or no LOA.  

Accountability is the key to healing, growing and getting unstuck.  Period.  

So I love this part of the LOA.   And I love the clients who welcome this piece of insight.   ‘Cause armed with this knowledge + willingness to look at ourselves we kick some serious personal growth booty. 

**Check out this post for more on my above accountability equation.

3.  It’s all about the bass feelings.

I’m all about feelings.  It’s why I became a therapist in the first place. 

What I love about the LOA is that it uses our feelings as guides.  It asks us to listen to ourselves, our bodies + our emotions and use them as our guidance system.  

Instead of judging and trying to outrun the yucky feelings we walk towards them, with curiosity + compassion, and ask them what they need, so they can heal + change.

4.  It helps me like myself better. 

When I’m living these principles I’m in a state of grace.  Allowing.   Non-resistance.   Love.   And it feels so darn good!

LOA asks us to recognize + acknowledge our fear based actions- which, BTW, make us feel totally crappy- and choose a more loving stance instead.  Simple.  Beautiful.  Not always easy.  

But always always worth it.


What Brings Out the Best in You?


CaleyPowerPointTemplateIt’s that time of year.  

You know, when gratitude make a major comeback.

We jump on this giving thanks float every year.   And, my guess is that every year your thanks head in the same general direction: family, friends, health, being together….  

What if this year you shake things up big time and give thanks for the hurdles you’ve experienced?

If you’re anything like me you’ve learned to reframe the setbacks you experience.  To see ‘em as lessons.  Opportunities.  For both growth and learning.   (I love a good reframe!)

But, do you ever give thanks for ‘em?  

I know I didn’t.  Until recently.

Thanks to Joel Osteen, I’m seeing these hurdles in a totally new light.   And giving thanks for them like crazy!

See, we’re all basically like seeds.   Waiting to grow.

And how do you get a seed to grow?   Plant ‘em of course.

When you think about it, being planted feels a lot like the dark spots in our lives.

Shoved into a tight, dark, cramped place.  Covered with shit dirt.

Totally disoriented.   Alone.  Potentially lost.

Our only guidance system comes from within ourselves.  

We have to reach within + trust ourselves.  We have to find a way to break our old shell and let our inner brilliance out in order to get back to the light.   Just like a seed.

So simple.  So beautiful.   So clarifying.

So now, I find myself giving thanks for being planted.  Constantly!

I’m thankful for the darkness.  For the shit dirt piled on me.  

Because it’s all part of how I grow.   It’s exactly what I needed in order to become the best me.

Thank you.   Thank you Universe for planting me!


“I like the good times a lot better.   But it wasn’t the good times that brought out the best in me.”  -Joel Osteen


How to Get Un-Stuck in 1 Simple Step

_If you could kick the person in theI live my life by this equation:

Compassion + Accountability = Empowerment

It came after years of playing the victim and avoiding accountability at all costs.  

See, I’d spent years in what I call “validating therapy.”  

Sitting with therapists who were so focused on being kind to me, supporting me, that they never asked me to look too closely at myself or what I was creating in my life.  

They were happy to listen to my whoas and jump on the man-that-sucks-wagon right along with me.  


This went on for years.  Years that I was completely stuck. 


From the outside it LOOKED like I was working my booty off.   I scheduled + attended all kinds of therapy appointments.  I talked about my pain- constantly.  I shared my story with anyone who wanted to listen.  

I thought I was doing the right thing.   You know, being “vulnerable.”  

And yet my self-esteem was on a steady decline…. 



Enter:  Accountability + Compassion

Then one day I met with a new therapist from a training I really liked.   One of the first things she said to me, in a totally lovingly voice was, “Yes, this happened to you and what did YOU bring to the situation, hon?” 

Wait, what????  Me?    What did I bring?

Yes.    You.   What did you bring to the situation?



Aw, sweet sweet empowerment!

The truth- that I knew but was totally avoiding AND that you already know- is that for your life to change you have to change.   

And you can’t do that without accountability.

Turns out, those accountability questions are the best thing that ever happened to me.   They’re HOW I developed my self-esteem, self-love, self-respect and became a person I really like.  

Instead of dwelling on what happened TO me, which I had/have zero control over, I learned how to pay attention to what I could change: ME.

Now, as a therapist/coach I see over and over again how this simple building block is the KEY to getting unstuck. 

No matter if it’s a client, a friend, my hubby or myself accountability, delivered with compassion, is always the difference between staying stuck and (finally!) healing, growing and moving on.  Which for me, is the very definition of Empowerment.

 

How to Have More Fun: 4 Life Lessons from Masters of Fun

Yesterday I got to spend the day hanging with 3 of the coolest little dudes around.  

We played.   We talked.  We cried.   We threw things.  We played some more.   It was totally awesome.  

And I learned a few things about living a passionate life from these tiny tots that I’d totally forgotten.  

I mean, seriously, kids are masters at living with passion.   

And, within all of us, there’s an inner child just begging to come out ‘n’ play.  

We ignore it.  Push it down.  Tell it to be quiet.  Call it names even.  

Yet all this joy-loving part of us wants to do is help you live a passionate life.  

Becoming besties with your inner child is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself.  And, it’ll change how you feel in your life + how much you enjoy your life.  Entirely. 

So, I teamed up with my inner child and took some notes while hanging with these tiny gurus-of-fun to figure out exactly what they do differently.  And why they have so much more fun.   

Here’s what it boils down to:

1.  Playing IS the plan.  

Playing is the most important aspect of the day + is giving top billing. 


2.  When it’s not fun anymore, change it. 

Never let rules, physics, reality and/or logistics stand in the way of fun.   Ever. 


3.  Throw a tantrum when you don’t get it what you want  I mean, speak up for yourself + your wants.

Know what you want and ask for it.   Clearly.   Repeatedly if necessary. 


4.  Forgive quickly + easily.

Holding onto grudges means you could be missing out on something better.   Not worth it.  Not one bit. 


Totally simple + totally genius, no?   I’m telling ya, these dudes were my gurus yesterday!  


Let’s take it one step further and break these super simple yet totally brilliant lessons down for our adult lives: 

1.  Make time to play every day.

If it’s NOT on your list odds are it won’t get done.  And, if fun isn’t part of your daily routine how can you expect to enjoy your life?


2.  Think outside the box.

You don’t have to do what you’d always done.   Change up routines, definitions and actions and never feel stuck in a rut. 


3.  Ask yourself what you want + then ask the Universe for it.

This is one of those simple vs. easy things.   Knowing what we want sounds simple but can be far from easy to figure out.  Spend time with yourself + your inner child figuring out exactly what you want.  Clarity is one of the best feelings out there- not to mention HOW you actually get what you want. 


4.  Let it go. 

I mean seriously, holding a grudge takes effort + energy.   Effort + energy you could be spending in so many other more delectable and satisfying ways.  Learn to focus on what you DO what, what IS going right, how you ARE being supported and loved and let the rest go.


 

4 Times it’s Okay NOT to be Vulnerable

CaleyPowerPointTemplate

I spent the weekend in an intensive workshop.   I was the kind I dream of! FULL of good stuff for my clients AND for me + my life.

I’m still digesting most of the info and I’m sure it’ll show up in future posts.   

 

There was one piece of info that came through so loud and clear that I can’t help but share it today:  sometimes it’s okay NOT to be vulnerable.

 

Now, I’m a total Brené Brown groupie.   Even snuck into a friend’s work place to see her speak in person.  

 

(Yep. You know you’ve reached a new life stage when the highlight of your year is sneaking into someone’s work place to see your favorite researcher speak.)

 

And I’m all about vulnerability.  

 

I spend my life, work and days doing my best to understand, define, practice + teach vulnerability.  It truly is the key to connection.  And, it’s where our strength comes from.

 

So, I was totally surprised when the workshop leader started our time together with the standard therapy workshop intro, “Be sure to take care of yourself this weekend” and I heard it totally differently than ever before.

 

He was giving me permission to NOT be vulnerable if need be.

 

You know what? There were moments I choose to take full advantage of that permission.   And, it was awesome!

 

Not that I spent the weekend with my walls up.  I didn’t.

 

Or that I didn’t choose to be vulnerable at points. ‘Cause I did.  

 

AND, my choice to take care of myself throughout the weekend and NOT be vulnerable a few times totally changed my experience, interest, willingness and ability to be vulnerable, to learn, to grow + to heal.

 

It was exactly what I needed to get the most out of the weekend.

 

So, today I’m sharing 4 times it’s okay NOT to be vulnerable.

 

1.  When it will totally deplete you.

Depletion totally has it’s place in healing + growth.   It can be a very valuable tool and sometimes is absolutely necessary.

AND, it can keep you from getting shit done if you let it.  

If being vulnerable will create so much emotional fatigue that you won’t take needed action then it’s OK to skip it.  This time.  

 

2.  When you can’t be nice- or emotionally tolerate- feedback.   Even when it’s positive.

Sometimes we are so raw that any feedback, even love, coming out way reduces us to tears.  

I remember this when vividly when my hubby and I were going through some really hard times.  

If I talked about it, I cried.  
If someone tried to comfort me, I cried.

The only way to keep moving forward + function at work was to limit what I shared with people.

 

3.  When people aren’t trustworthy. (Different than your trust muscle being weak.)

Brené Brown says, “You only tell your story to those who have earned the right to hear it.”

Just ‘cause an acquaintance, your mortal frenemy, your boss or your sister asks about something doesn’t mean you have to spill the beans.  
Choose who you share with purposefully, intentionally and wisely.

 

4.  When it’s a bigger fish than you can fry in the time you have.

 

If you’ve got a story or beef that’ll take an hour to unravel and only 5 minutes to spend on it… probably not the best time to dive into it.  

Knowing the limits of what you can or can’t get to in the time/energy/focus you have is a key distinction between vulnerability and neediness. 

 

In a nutshell: a truly heartfelt, courageous, compassionate + vulnerable life requires parameters + limits.   Vulnerability is about making choices to share who you really are, what you really need and what you really feel in ways that empower you + deepen your connections with the people in your life. And sometimes, that means NOT sharing.


P.S.  If you haven’t watched Brené’s TED Talk on The Power of Vulnerability you’re in for a treat!   It’s 20 minutes and worth every single second! :)







How to Get Back Up After Being Knocked Down

_The secret to life is to fall sevenThere’s all kinds of great motivation saying out there about getting back up after you’ve been knocked down. Paulo Coelho says, “The secret to life is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.”

 

He’s right, of course.   And, is it really as simple as getting back up?

 

Like one of those pop-up punching bags do we just need to get back up….no matter what?   Or, is there a trick to getting back up?

 

For me, HOW I get up always determines how my next attempt goes.  Applying a slower, more deliberate, more thought-out way to learn from the punches takes way less tries than the pop-up punching bag approach.

 

Here’s my 5 best most useful steps for HOW to get up after being knocked down:


1.  Listen.

Listen to your heart. Listen to your gut. Listen to your guides, God, the Universe.

It takes a little bit of time and patience.

You gotta listen long enough to get past the ego’s voice (fear).  Like a scared child, your fearful self needs compassion.  Accept it (your fearful self).  Welcome it into your heart AND keep listening.

When the fear subsides you’ll feel a shift in your body.  Then, if you’re still listening, new non-repeating info will come to you.  

This is the good stuff.  

This is the Universe communicating directly with you.


2.  Work it out.

Journal, write, create, yell, scream, cry, sweat—  anything that works. it. outta. you.

Now I’m not talking venting or ranting where you tell the story over and over again while keeping your death grip on it + letting it become part of your identity. This actually makes it worse.

I’m talking about working the energy out of you.

Choose ways to process + let go of the physical feelings.  Separate from ‘em.  Picture ‘em leaving you.   Literally (and metaphorically) practice opening your hands, your heart, you arms and letting these details leave you.

There is no way to keep something inside you- including your mind- AND let it go.  Be willing to work it out of you, your mind, body and soul.


3.  Own your part.

I love the Law of Attraction, and this is why.

As hard as it can be to accept responsibility for what happens to us, it’s also totally + completely empowering.

Without this piece we end up feeling like victims. With no control over our lives or what happens to us.

Owning our part. Looking for our blind spots, expectations, energy set points and actions that helped create this experience is how we feel empowered.  And, how we heal.


4.  Look for the lesson.

I’m a big believer that everything happens for a reason.  

I used to say it ‘cause I liked the way it sounded.  But the more Law of Attraction coaching I do, the more I realize that this mindset is really what makes the difference in people’s lives.

Much like owning your part, when you’re willing to look at everything that happens to you as a lesson, it means you’re willing to look at the whole picture not just the ouchie stuff.

 

It’s a way of being open, which means when you get back up again you’re open to doing well.  You’re open to things going right this time.


5.  Give thanks.

Whatever it was that knocked ya down is full of gifts for you.

 

It’s full, totally, of information about you, your project, your wants and your life. When you’re able to give thanks for this info you’re able to learn from it. Digest it. Understand it and CHOOSE something different next time.

 

When you’re willing to see it as an opportunity the possibilities are endless.

How to Find Your Voice: 4 Essentials to Speaking Your Truth

CaleyPowerPointTemplateOne of the things I’m most loving ’bout my year long blogging goal is how it’s helping me to find my voice. 

It’s been an awesome challenge to figure out how to say what I want to say in 500(ish) words.  And, how to speak my truth in a way that feels good to me without worrying about what other people think. 

In other words, how to speak my truth with grace.  

This is what I call my voice.  

It’s me, my thoughts, my words, my beliefs shared with grace and compassion + hopefully a little humor.  

You don’t have to love it, you don’t even have to agree with it, that’s not what MY voice about.  MY voice is about me, clearly sharing myself in a way that I feel good about.   So that I feel confident no matter the outcome.  

The same applies to you + your voice.  

The more you speak your truth, the more awesome-fitting jobs, relationships, support systems + partners in crime you’ll draw into your life.  And the more confident, peaceful + sure you’ll feel no matter the situation.  

Finding your voice = befriending yourself. 

Here’s 4 essentials to finding your voice + speaking your truth:

1.  Practice.

To find your voice you’ve got to practice using it.   Like finding the perfect jeans you’ve got to try out different stances, levels of compassion, viewpoints and vocab in order to find what fits best.  

This can’t be done in your head.   You’ve got to get your body involved for it to become comfortable + your new normal.  Talk it out with friends, mentors or any support system- even the mirror can help.  Write it out in journals, blogs, letters, poems, songs- you name it.  Anything that helps you create an actual friendship (not a fantasy of a friendship) with you, your truth and your voice. 

2.  Pay attention to how you FEEL.

The thing about your voice + your truth is that it’ll feel good to you.   You’ll feel peaceful, confident,  sure no matter the outcome.   If you feel tense, pissed, constricted, or worried about what other people think then it’s not your voice (yet).  

So as you practice speaking your truth take time to pay attention to how it makes you feel.  Are you happy with what it brings your way?  Do you want more of what it creates in your life?  This’ll tell you when you’re on the right track or missing the mark. 


3.  Embrace the “I can’t” statements.

We all have internal glass ceilings.   They’re usually complete blind spots to us.  

They’re things we believe we can’t do, or can’t say, or can’t want and remain loved.  If speaking your truth, or thinking about speaking your truth, brings up “I can’t” statements then we’ve hit on something important.  These blocks, beliefs + glass ceilings are what’s actually in your way.  


4.  Ask for help releasing the blocks.

When we’re missing something we want in our life (like more money, relationships, happiness, passion) it tells us that we’re not yet able to possess that thing.  

If we knew how to have it,  how to do it,  how to feel it,  it’d already be part of our life.  

So instead of asking for help “getting what we want” ask for help releasing the blocks to allowing it into our lives.  

When it comes to your voice that means asking for help releasing the “I can’t” statements that hold you back.  

It doesn’t matter how connected you are to your truth, if you have a belief that says, “I can’t say that” you’ll never be able to speak your truth.    Make sense?

 

4 Signs You’re Avoiding Your Intuition (+ how to change that)

CaleyPowerPointTemplateDo you listen to your intuition?

Personally, I love my mine.   Listen to it all the time.

Every time I’ve followed this faithful friend- answered the call, taken the pilgrimage it’s calling me towards- amazing things have happened in my life.  My faith has grown.   And I become more and more sure that the universe really is here to support me.

So why the heck have I been ignoring my intuition for literally months?


At first, I didn’t even realize I was.  

 

I felt like I was just making different choices.  You know, choosing an apple instead of an orange.   Choosing this path instead of that one. 

Now I realize what I was really doing is choosing desperately clinging to the idea of certainty.   

‘Cause I’m scared.  

‘Cause what my intuition is asking me to do feels like a lot of work.

‘Cause, like a late night infomercial, a “sure thing” sounded so seductive + so… easy.


Turns out:  desperately clinging to certainty has actually led me to the most uncertain place of my life.

The radio silence I’ve had going with myself is totally disorienting.   And totally lonely.

My faith is dwindling, suffocating- barely hanging on…   And I’m even having a hard time mustering up some self-compassion ’cause I feel like I did this to myself.   Like I choose not to listen to me and now I’m paying the price.

I don’t like it.   Not even a little.  

And I so DON’T believe it has to be this way!  

One of my favorite lines from “Eat, Pray, Love” goes something like this, “to fall out of balance for love sometimes is part of living a balanced life.”   Well, for me, this same sentiment applies to listening to my intuition.   Sometimes choosing not to listen to our intuition is how we learn to recognize + trust this greater part of ourselves.

So today I’m making lemonade and turning this personal silent treatment into an opportunity for both you + me.  I mean it’s a perfect way for to learn about the ways we listen + the ways we avoid our intuition.   So we can both figure out how to get back on board with our intuition and with our faith.



CaleyPowerPointTemplateHere’s 4 signs you’re avoiding your intuition + how to get it back online.

1. A
voiding quiet time.

Intuition speaks to us in the quiet moments of our day.   If your mind is racing, the TV is always on, or your phone is glued to your fingers odds are you’re avoiding what’s going on inside of you.   Which includes your intuition.

 

Instead: Make quiet time a priority.  It doesn’t have to be long periods of time; it just has to be intentional.  Push pause on Candy Crush + take a few moments to listen to your gut.


2. You’re queen of the “yeah but.”

If a common response for you is “yeah but” you’re looking for the how things DON’T fit.  Which means, you’re in defense mode. Like a goalie, you’re making sure nothing gets past you (or into you).  Which includes your intuition.

Instead: Look for how things DO fit. This helps you move from defense, blocking everything that comes your way and into openness, accepting what comes your way.


3. Seeking (desperately) approval from other people.

This is like asking for permission from others.  So you’re doing what they told you to instead of what your heart is calling you to do.  It also means that we can easily + unintentionally blame them things don’t go our way.

 

Instead: Seek internal approval. It may be scary. It may be combined with nerves.   AND ask yourself constantly, “is it what I’M drawn to?”


4. Scrambling like hell to get to the certain path.

Fighting to stay in your comfort zone- the seemingly sure thing- means you’re not willing to risk uncertainty or vulnerability.  Which means you can’t grow or change.  And there’s little room for faith + trust.

 

Instead: lean into the uncertainty and vulnerability. Listen to these fearful parts of you and take care of them like you would a fearful child.  They hold the keys to your blocks.