It isn’t some I-conquored-that-particular-thing-so-I-feel-good-about-myself-forever kind of thing. Your self-esteem needs love, care, nurture and support just like your body. After all, it’s a living breathing thing.
Simple word choices make a big difference in how we feel. Think of it this way: words are to your self-esteem what food is to your body.
Choosing words that fuel + uplift you is like choosing foods that do the same. There’s so many simple vocab swaps you can make to nurture and grow your self-esteem. Here’s 3 of my fave:
Swap “but” for “and.”
When you “but” yourself, you’re forcing yourself into an all-or-nothing, black-or-white box. And, you end up labeling yourself + your experiences ALL good or ALL bad.
The truth is you’re a wonderfully delightful complex being. Nothing about you, or your experiences, is all good or all bad.
That’s the beauty of “and.” When you “and‘ yourself, instead of “but” yourself, you’re celebrating + making room for ALL of you.
Swap “deserve” for “worth” or “matter.”
The D-word is like nails on a chalkboard for me for so many reasons, but here’s my top 3:
1. To say you deserve something is to say you had to earn it. And you so DON’T have to earn being loved. You are worth being loved. ‘Cause you matter. See the difference?
2. If you “deserve” the good, then it follows that you “deserve” the bad. Using the D-word, even when we mean it with love, sets us up for feeling worse about ourselves when things go haywire.
When you have worth, you have that worth no matter the situation.
And when you know you matter, you matter, no matter what.
3. When we think + feel that we “deserve” something we dive into “proving mode.” We’re all about TELLING people we “deserve” this or we “deserve” that.
When we know our worth + that we matter, we SHARE what we want + need. And sharing is HOW we’re able to receive + make connections. ‘Cause when we share we’re open.
Swap “because” for a nice long pause….
Whenever we use the word “because” to justify our wants, thoughts, beliefs or actions we’re saying they aren’t enough on their own. We’re defending ’em before they even need defending.
Instead, take a beat when you share your wants or thoughts.
Practice saying, “I want to see this movie.” Period. Then, let that beautiful, I matter, silence ring!
It might be a little uncomfortable at first and that’s OK. It’s an incredible self-esteem workout that lets you + your wants matter all on their own.