See, I’m fast approaching my goal of blogging once a week for a year. I set this goal 48 (!!!) weeks ago because I wanted to find my voice.
And, when it comes to blog posts, it’s totally worked.
Which is a good thing.
And yet, for some reason, I was still struggling to write like I sound like in session for my website.
So, I decided to challenge myself. And use last week’s post as an opportunity to uncover + clear the personal blocks that keeping me from using my voice to write my website.
It took me 30 hours spread over 4 days. Yes, 30 hours!
(Which, you can imagine, made the emotional hangover topic totally authentic.)
I’d write a sentence and really let myself feel what came up.
Then I’d spend time meditating, tapping and releasing what had been triggered in me.
Then repeat. And, repeat again. And again.
It was brutal. Painful.
And it totally paid off.
I finally understand what’s been going on: I’ve been editing myself for the haters.
Deciding what to say- and what not say– based on how other people might feel reading it.
Not because I want to be liked. Or agreed with.
Because the thought of writing something that might hurt someone’s feelings kills me.
When I’m writing this is often what’s going on in my head:
I can’t say that! So-and-so we’ll hate it.
This idea totally works for her, but I know she’ll hate it.
I can’t say that. I might hurt her.
And I can’t say that. I might hurt her.
So I tone it down. Tone me down.
Try to speak to everyone. Include everyone.
I edit myself.
Which actually helps no one.
Not me. Not you. Not her– no matter who she is.
Here’s what really happens when you edit yourself:
1. People don’t know who you really are. So it’s hard to create meaningful connections with like-minded souls.
2. It attracts more of what you don’t want. ‘Cause that’s what you’re paying attention to. All the things you don’t want, can’t say, can’t do.
3. You feel stuck, stagnate and confined. You actually create a box- based on what you think everyone else thinks– that you feel you have to live in.
4. People you don’t really like, really like you. You’re totally accommodating them. Why wouldn’t they?
5. It’s easy to lose sight of what you actually want. Because you’re focused on what you think you actually can have.
Which is totally what’s been happening in my business since I’ve gone down the coaching route.
I’m so NOT a quick-fix, 4-simple-steps-will-fix-your-entire-life girl, therapist OR coach. So I’ve got to stop writing my websites that way.
Thanks to my 30-hour-maraton-post I’ve got a new perspective. New understanding.
And a new website goal:
Edit for no one.
Welcome with open arms whoever that draws.
That’s how you create your tribe.
Now it’s your turn. How have you been editing yourself?