Hole-poking is one of the most common ways we get stuck.
The more you use this negative-Nelly habit, the more stuck you feel.
What is hole-poking? In a nut shell, it’s focusing on why something:
- won’t work
- doesn’t apply to you
- is hard to do
For example: someone shares an idea or new concept with you and no matter what they say, or how they explain it, you zero in on the one or two words that make it NOT work for you.
And, you pounce on those excuses like a cat going after a laser dot.
They might have 100 awesome points. That would totally help you out.
Yet all you hear is the part that will be hard. Uncomfortable. Or doesn’t fit perfectly the first time through.
You’re not looking for solutions. You’re not growing. You’re not learning.
Instead you’re caught up in a horrible case of rationalization– determined to find fault in anything that tries to move you out of your comfort zone.
Basically, you’re hitting the emergency brake. All. Day. Long.
We’ve all been there. And it’s no fun.
Here’s 5 ways to take your foot off the brake and stop poking holes.
1. Embrace your scaredy-cat-ness.
Change. Growth. Progress. As much as we want these things they mean leaving your comfort zone in the dust. And that’s scary stuff.
Acknowledge + communicate what’s got you spooked. Remind yourself that it’s OK to be scared. It’s OK to be unsure. Let yourself be in the “and” place: “I want this change AND I’m scared.” Then, take it slow.
2. Look for how the info DOES apply + how it CAN help.
ALL information can help us. Teach us. Direct us. If we’re willing to listen.
Information is like making a new friend. Looking for how it does relate to us is how we create connections, understanding, new possibilities + how we create a new pattern in our life.
**If a theme is coming up again and again- listen. It’s happening for a reason.
3. Look for what’s gone right.
Tony Robbins says, “Success always leaves clues.” And it does. Big time.
When you start looking for how/why things have gone well, you can recreate + build on that success without reinventing the wheel. It’ll get you out of the parking lot and back into the race.
4. Un-plant your heels. Literally.
When we’re hole-poking we generally feel:
Tense + ready for battle
Defeated, “This won’t work, why bother?”
Stiff, “It has to go perfect. Must. Resist. Anything. Less.”
Relaxing your body is one quick way to refocus your mind.
Loosen up your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Shake out your hands.
Let your body know you’re NOT under attack. This will instantly calm your internal alarm system. And let you start seeing things from a whole new lens.
5. Breathe first. Speak second.
Before you speak take a deep breath.
Acknowledge you’re feeling some resistance.
Take another breath.
If you’re still only finding fault(s) start with questions. Get clear on your intention. Why are you only poking holes? How is that helping you? What is it letting you avoid?
Hole poking is easy to spot when you know what you’re looking for. With a little practice you’ll be have a lot less holes in your life in no time.