5 Step Forgiveness Plan (Step 3)

All right, so we’ve reviewed steps 1 (move beyond the anger), and 2 (take care of yourself), in my 5-Step Forgiveness Plan. Now we are ready to move onto step 3.

Step 3 is a really important component of this process, not that all the steps aren’t important, because they are, but step 3 is where you really start taking back the power over your own feelings and begin to see whatever happened in a new light.

Step 3- Find 3 things you are grateful for that wouldn’t have happened without this hurt.

There is a ripple effect to everything! Sometimes we have to look hard for it, but there is always something good, that wouldn’t have happened otherwise, that comes out of something bad.

  • Maybe we discover strength we didn’t know we had
  • Maybe we reconnected or deepened our connection with someone else as a result of what happened
  • Maybe this door closing opened a window to a path we would have never seen before
  • Maybe we found a new job that doesn’t suck our soul dry
  • Maybe we discovered a new passion in life
  • Maybe we were kept from heading down the wrong path for our core self
  • Maybe we were kept from making a big mistake
  • Maybe we were kept from giving our life, love, and support from someone who doesn’t deserve it
  • Maybe we were jolted into fully living and experiences our life instead of sleepwalking though our days

If you look for it, you will find the ways that the ripple effect has influenced your life, and begin to see the original injury or hurt in a new light. When you make the connection between this hurtful event and the wonderful things that have happened in your life as a result of it, (which sometimes can be a step or two removed from it- meaning that the event lead you to them in a round about way) it will be effortless to let go of the anger and resentment.

If you watched The Bachelorette this week, you heard Ali refer to one of my favorite quotes after getting her heart broken by Frank: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”– Eleanor Roosevelt. This is exactly why I love step 3 so much! Step 3 is about taking charge of your own life and the path you’ve taken and seeing it more clearly from your own lens and making it all about YOU! It takes the power away from what they did and gives it back to you.

So, what 3 things are you grateful for that you that you wouldn’t have experienced otherwise?