“You’re Not the Boss of Me”

afterphotoGo ahead and say it.   I’m not the boss of you.   (And I so don’t want to be)

I’ve recently done a re-branding job to my site, practice and blog. (+ my attitude.) 

I’ve spent years working as a traditional therapist, focused on Self-Esteem, because I wanted to help people.  I’d had some super painful experiences in my life, which made it crystal clear to me why we’re such jackass’s when we’re hurting.  
So, I set out to do something about it.  Enter Therapy + Self-Esteem. 
While I loved my time as a traditional therapist, for me, something was missing.  Especially when it came to the Self-Esteem piece.  

So again, I set out to do something about it.  Enter Coaching (+ blog refresh.) 

Here’s the inspiration behind my new voice n ‘tude:

I’m NOT the boss of you.  And, I so Don’t want to be.

Telling  vs. Sharing

When it comes to improving your life what are you looking for?  Are you looking for someone to tell you what to do?  

So you can just do it.  

Without absorbing it, or really thinking about it.  

‘Cause this is Telling.   And in my experience Telling is a waste of time.  Mine + yours. 

Telling places the power on something other than you.  In this case me.  

It makes me the boss of you. 

i.e.  “I did what you told me and it didn’t work.” 

Translation: “I went through the motions, without creating an intention of reaching my goal, because you told me to. And I’m secretly glad it didn’t work cause now I can blame you instead of look at me.” 

Not fun.   Not helpful.    And, so not gonna get you to your goals. 

Sharing is… 

…a 50-50 split where I dish out info + you marinate in it.  Absorb it.  Let it flavor you.  Tweak you. 

Move it from your head to your heart.  And make it yours.   

Sharing brings the power back to you. 

It makes YOU the boss of you.  And us, partners.  

i.e. “I tried what we talked about last time.  Here’s what went well, and here’s the glitches I ran into. How can I avoid these from popping up in the future?”    

Translation:  “I’m in the process of figuring this out.  And I’m determined to make it.  This is new + scary for me, and I could really use some support and guidance so I can figure out what tripped me up. I want to know how to handle it next time.” 

Big difference.  (With totally different results.)

I’m a Sharer (and I know it.)

I love being your partner.  I loathe being your boss.  

This has been the single biggest aha for me.  And it’s changing everything.  

As much as I appreciate the Savvy Self-Esteem alliteration and purpose, it feels way too much like being the boss of you.  And way too little like me.   So, I’m ditching it.  I’m letting it go so I can welcome something more into my life.   I want to Be + Feel More right along side you.

My intention going forward is Sharing.

Sharing love.  Compassion.  Insight.  Hope.  Nuggets of wisdom.  New ideas.  New ways to look at yourself.  To love yourself.  To appreciate + value your strengths.  

All to help YOU be the boss of you. 

PS- We’ll still totally talk Self-Esteem! I’m all about helping you Be + Feel More. On the inside. Which IS Self-Esteem.